Ramadan is almost over. I am muchness sad. This has not been a good Ramadan for me at all. Sigh. When life is loud and distracting, religion is the first thing that suffers. Where be my mountaintop?

And really, what did I sacrifice my Ramadan experience for? I didn’t do anything worthy of my time. I simply spent most of my time at work, and when I wasn’t at work I was thinking of work, and when I wasn’t doing either I was sleeping or watching TV. Shameful. We call that breaking your fast for a stick of butter. I got nothing out of it.

So I’m going to try and fast next month too. My non-Muslim friends are upset with me – they’ve been wanting to go out and see me open my tired eyes past squint all month – but tough. I need my Ramadan rejuvenation and if I missed out this month, the next one will have to do.

I also need to set myself some goals, lest this fastpaced grownup life consume me completely. Work is just a means to an end – it’s not the end. As long as I get some use out of it, it’s good. But when it only gets use out of you, then you’ve lost yourself.

Goal #1: Dawah. I haven’t been the best example of my faith. I’m a bit too caustic and I take a little too much pleasure in my malicious sense of humor to do much good. I need to curb my tongue, refrain from backbiting and be a better human.

Goal #2: More meaningful prayer. I pray two, sometimes three of my salahs at the office, which involve me stealing away for a few minutes in the frigid storage room. I usually rush right out, before my feet freeze to the floor, and while I’m praying my mind is usually on the work I’ve walked away from. I think I should take more time for prayer, and use some of it to clear my head first. And bringing a sweater would help too.

Goal #3: Being more patient with my family. This is a regular on my to-do-lists, but never seems to be fulfilled. My idea of addressing this problem lately is simply avoiding them. I’m just so slick, I know. It’s terrible. A person isn’t worthy of a family if they can’t refrain from yelling at them or rolling their eyes so often there’s a serious risk they’ll never come down.

Goal #4: Arabic. I need to refresh what I learnt a few years back. Understanding the language of the Quran is something I’ve wanted since I was a little kid. I’ve got some Arabic language tapes that I should play during my horrendous morning commute and I should try and engage my Arabic coworkers in conversation instead of pretending to understand nothing of what they say.

Goal #5: Slowing down. I’m a bit frenetic these days – always rushing, always in a hurry. That means I’ve got no time delay from what I think to what I say. Being impetuous isn’t particularly healthy. It also means I’m extremely impatient – with the world. I have to bring things back to perspective so I can get a grip on my thoughts and my actions.

It’s a lot to work on, but not impossible. I hope. I pray.

Today is Blog Quake Day

It has been nearly 20 days since Pakistan, Afghanistan and India were rocked by the deadliest earthquake to hit the region ever. The toll has risen to 80,000 human lives lost – and will definitely reach beyond.

I visited Kashmir in the days that followed, and the sheer scale of the destruction I saw still haunts me. In some areas, if you did not know what existed there before, there was no way of knowing that the mountain had swallowed up entire settlements. Only the faint stench of decay and a suspicious lack of greenery on that new mountain-side bore testament to what once was.

The worst is not over. Some 800,000 people across the Hindukush now face the risk of dying this winter without immediate provision of shelter. Already, thousands of children, the aged and the injured are believed to be dying every week from hypothermia, malnutritition and their untreated earthquake injuries. Over 40,000 pregnant women are currently in danger of losing their future offspring, and themselves.

In the longterm, who knows what sort of future is before the 3 million people whose security and stability were compromised by the quake. This much is certain - most will have to rebuild their homes, places of work, and communities. Reconstruction will take the time and money of all of those human enough to care.

Please step up and make a contribution. If you’ve already done so, make another. Any and every amount shared will help.

Here are some websites for relief and reconstruction groups.

World Vision

Humanity First

Hidaya

Yes Pakistan

Develop Pakistan

Oxfam

CARE

Sewa

I think my brain must be frozen. Or it’s losing all structural integrity, leaving me to perform all my functions with a bowl of oatmeal at the helm. It’s a shame really, cuz while I’m partial to oatmeal, I don’t like it well enough for it to be the decision maker around here.

Sigh.

Work is ok. I’m variously doing very well and getting pats on the back or getting censored and warned. I feel a bit like a puppy in training. Sometimes it’s praise, sometimes it’s a rolled up newspaper on the nose. It’s all good though. For once, being the aloof brat I am has come in handy. Can’t let people have the power to pull your chain.

I’ve been back in the UAE for the past couple days, trying to resume normalcy, but it is a bit hard. On the one hand, I keep flashing back to desolated Muzaffarabad and remembering the gagging smell of the leveled areas, and on the other, I forget completely that’d been there at all. I’m trying to find a balance between functioning and forgetting. So far, it involves me doing most of the earthquake follow-up stories at my paper. Still doesn’t seem like enough though. I guess there’s no complete satisfaction in an event like this. Surviving alone is cause for guilt.

And dudes, don’t bother with the consolatory wordage. Remember, I don’t put much stock in all that. I know I know, I'm a punk. What can I say? As my Abez like to tell me, I am my own worst enemy. Hey, it's a dirty job but someone's gotta do it.

In the mean time, have you donated to the relief funds? This cause is as good as any for your Ramadan sadqah and zakat. I’d avoid any government agencies and instead focus on medical and/or reconstruction groups.

I just came back from a tour of the worst hit areas in Kashmir, North Western Frontier Province and Punjab. Distribution of aid there has not been effectively managed, meaning there are huge swaths of areas that have recieved nothing while others are glutted with goods that are now unneeded. What is sent tends to either be offloaded at street corners or taken to distribution points that people find hard to reach.

That doesn't mean we should stop helping though. We just need to change our focus and work a little harder to ensure the biggest impact. In Muzaffarabad I saw clothing being ignored by victims, and food being distributed in plenty, though stupidly. The means to cook the food, and the place to where the clothing, is still lacking. Shelter is a huge necessity.

Doctors tell me they need surgical supplies and the transport facilities to get the most needy to the operation theatres in other cities. They need more helicopters and C130s to airlift victims and more field hospitals. At this stage, they say there is little they can do but bandage flesh wounds and give basic medicines.

It seems the best thing we can do is donate our money to the bigger relief groups like the Red Crescent, Medicines Sans Frontiers, Edhi and others. If you want to buy something, there is a huge need for tents, tarpaulines and waterproof coverings. But sending money is better, as it can help arrange the transport of the thousands of tonnes of goods that have been collected but cannot reach their destinations due to the inflation in the cost of transport.

If you've arranged for your own shipment of goods, please make sure they are distributed in an effective manner, in the areas most in need. If you need help figuring out which areas need help and how to do it, email me at macharwala@hotmail.com and I'll put you in contact with Kashmiris organising relief distribution in their home villages.

I've been in Pakistan since Sunday, covering the earthquake here. For all those of you who are wondering, YES it is as bad if not worse than the reports reveal. This is a living nightmare.

I got back from Muzaffarabad yesterday. It looks like photos of bombed out Dresden. Whole buildings are collapsed. Parts of the Himalayas are strewn across the roads. Cars are crushed under the rubble. Walking into that city was like walking into a post-Apocolyptic tragedy.

The air there is beginning to smell of rotting flesh and few rescuers have reached the remote area to pull survivors from the rubble. What with the rain and freezing hail, those trapped inside don't have much of a chance if help does not get here soon. Those who escaped unhurt, are facing hunger and thirst, as there is no water and little food to be had in most areas. I'm leaving again for Kashmir in the morning. I doubt things will be much better.

I've been pretty emotionally numb since I got here and I take that as a blessing from Allah. I can only do the little good reporting does if I'm not breaking down all over the place, I tell myself. I don't always manage to though. I talked to my kid brother's friend, who lost his mom and his sister in the earthquake. He was in shock, and couldn't remember what day they'd been buried on. To even begin to think of going through a similar situation is too much for me. I felt stupider than dirt telling him I felt sorry and hoped he'd feel better soon.

Ya Allah, You, the All Wise, know best. Ya Allah, You The Planner, have pre-written our times of death. Ya Allah, from You we come and to You we return. Ya Allah, please ease the suffering and comfort the hearts of the survivors. Let this earthquake not be only a punishment, but also a lesson.

The rest of you, send money, goods, and prayers.

I didn't write this but thought it was so inspiring I should share. Who says my advanced theories on human-hamster behavioural mirroring aren't world-changing enough? I may yet be a (Ig)Nobel prize winner. *adjusts glasses thoughtfully*

******

Ig Nobel winners

Medicine - Gregg Miller from the US for his invention of Neuticles - rubber replacement testicles for neutered dogs that are available in varying sizes and degrees of firmness. "Considering my parents thought I was an idiot when I was a kid, this is a great honour," said Mr Miller.

Peace - A UK team for their pioneering research into the activity of locusts' brain cells while the insects watched clips from the Star Wars films.

Physics - John Maidstone from Australia for his part in an experiment that began in 1927 in which a glob of black tar drips through a funnel every nine years. Mr Maidstone shared the prize with a late colleague who died sometime after the second drop.

Biology - The University of Adelaide for "painstakingly smelling and cataloguing the peculiar odours produced by 131 different species of frogs when the frogs were feeling stressed".

Chemistry - A University of Minnesota team who set out to prove whether people can swim faster in water or sugar syrup.

Economics - A Massachusetts inventor who designed an alarm clock that runs away and hides when it goes off.

Nutrition - A Japanese researcher who photographed and analysed every meal he had consumed during a period of 34 years.

Literature - The many Nigerians who introduced millions of e-mail users to a "cast of rich characters... each of whom requires just a small amount of expense money so as to obtain access to the great wealth to which they are entitled".

Agricultural History - A study entitled The Significance of Mr Richard Buckley's Exploding Trousers: Reflections on an Aspect of Technological Change in New Zealand Dairy-Farming between the World Wars.

Fluid Dynamics - Pressures Produced When Penguins Pooh - Calculations on Avian Defaecation.