We are always evolving. And no I don’t mean that in the ‘your grand father was a monkey’ bit. Nah, seeing as how I aint never seen any proof that one can empower their genes with an omnipotent will (“must grow tail!”), that all don’t jive with me.

I mean evolving on a personal level. See, long back, when I was a right smart kid, I decided I should always be evolving up. Getting better. And for many years, I consciously was – riding myself of bad habits, trying to develop good ones, had a goal in mind I wanted to attain.

Then I dunno what happened. I guess I got perfect. *grin* No, I’m just kidding. I got lazy. Massively lazy. And I forgot. I forgot what it was I wanted to be, and why, and how I could do it. And I got tired. And it doesn’t help that no matter how far I got, I still felt the same old crappy me. Not much of an incentive to go further. So I just stopped.

Lately though, I’m pretty sure I’m backsliding. De-evolving, if you will. I’ve become this utterly self-absorbed, impatient, unthinking moron, whose main goals in life are to take it easy and not be bothered. So much for the ‘my life is my test, I will do my best’ thing I lived by when I was a kid.

Sigh.

Really, I used to be cool. Like a good role-model, a better daughter, an attentive friend, a caring sister, responsible human, diplomat of the faith and all that jazz. Now I’m just blah – your typical young adult idiot. My chief concerns seem to revolve around my job and my social life – none of which are greatly fulfilling, but still too consuming. What the fork is going on?

So, fellow 20-somethings, you tell me. Is this normal? Is this just part of the equalisation of life – finding a balance from your seriously-certain-youth and jaded-adulthood? Or am I just falling into the dunia, buying into the illusion before me instead of for the promise of a later, better, reality? Am I falling back to sleep?

I have survived a year of being a reporter and I don’t want to put up with another.

All the goals I set our for myself when I joined as a first-time gum-shoe have been hit. Little ol anti-social, often painfully shy, and strange-place-phobic me has pulled the wool over the eyes of the journalism community and fooled them into thinking I’m a savvy news hound. I got sent cool places, met weird people, wrote a billion-trillion words on topics on which I know nothing, and got a column. As they say in my country – there are no more pumpkins left to conquer.

So, um, is the old side of 23 a little too early to retire?

• I wear guys jeans. They’re more comfy.

• Left to my own devices, I would probably live on frozen vegetables, corn chips and fruit.

• I was stung by a jellyfish when I was a little girl. It’s the origin of my super powers.

• In the course of my life I have been mistaken for Bosnian, Jordanian, Palestinian, Syrian, Afghan, Iranian, Russian, German, Turkish, Native American and even Chinese. But I prefer to tell people I’m a black Jew from Peru.

• I was always a short kid. Really. Like always front-row picture sitting, first three in line, little one. Then I grew. Five inches in a year. Now I’m not short no more.

• I am a failed juggler.

• My biggest reporter triumph has been scowling at the prime minister of Pakistan. That’s what you get when you insist on shaking my hand. ;)

• I played the cello in a student orchestra for four years. Then I left the country. Sometimes, when I hear music, I see my fingers finding the notes on the imaginary fret bar that exists in my warped head. I also often dream that I’ve found one, but never get a chance to see if I can still play. It’s very frustrating.

• I am a self absorbed brat.

• I am secretly plotting the murder of my own blog.

Lessee, details on the Yousuf Islam interview....

It was a very strange evening. I was called to the store organising the signing and press conference a full two hours early, which when you’re a reporter on a deadline, coming in on their day off, is not very nice. And being the world’s most impatient moron, was a rather put out by the delay, and with no sign of fans or celebrity anywhere, began to wonder if I’d even come to the right place. I sat alone at the press area beside the signing table, and nearly died of the wait.
As the minutes ticked by though, fans slowly began to pour in and queue-up. They stamped and shuffled like horses at the gates, continually straining to catch the first sight of Islam, wherever and whenever he chose to make his appearance. To add to the tension and expectation suddenly the signing table was surrounded by six bodyguards, overly muscled, sunglassed, dressed in black. I had a hard time not laughing at them, and was wondering whatever happened to the no-nonsense hippy Cat Stevens I’d heard so much about. I wondered if the singer had been receiving threats or something to prompt such precautions.
But despite the drama – which I later learned was arranged by the store not the singer -- Islam arrived quietly. He was ushered between the velvet ropes, smiling, shuffling and sheepish. The ‘press’ was being pathetically represented by me and a radio dude, so the earlycomers for the signing took over the seats and when time came to take questions from the press, they took over the mic as well. It wasn’t such a bad deal though, as their lack of diplomacy put Islam at ease and let some otherwise sticky issues be addressed.
Here’s a rough transcript of the interview:

I think we all know music is international. Children even understand it before they’ve been formally taught anything. Muslims in the past contributed to progress, science, human well being and happiness. I see this as a means to making people happy. We have to get back to contributing to this well being and I think music is maybe a way of doing it.
As far as me going from purely Islamic music back to non-Islamic; I think calling music Islamic or non-Islamic is not exactly accurate. I think that anything that is healthy and does not harm is Islamic. Versions of Peace Train, Wild World, I’ve embraced many songs that speak of my search for happiness and peace in a way that I think is acceptable.
In the current climate, the key thing is that we realise that what we are doing is incredibly important. We’re building the middle ground. Right now headlines are being dominated by extremists. It feels like there is almost an isolation of the extremes, so we have now room to build the middle ground and welcome more people willing to join on board.,

Q: You’ve said you’ve mellowed out Islamically as you’ve aged. Why is that and what is the difference?

As far as me ‘mellowing out’ goes, I don’t think I used those exact words. I’ve ripened, and fruit is a good metaphor to compare with. As a Muslim, a new Muslim, you have to go through various stages before you get to being tasty. I hope as I go on, to get even better.
It is also a matter of coming into customs of Islam and then after studying, you can make a balanced judgement [of how you will live]. The prophet said people are like mines of gold and silver, those who were good before are good after. Comprehension does not happen over night.

Q: Will you be touring anytime soon?

There is a whole social side to concerts that I’m not comfortable with. The only concerts I’ve managed to do recently, like when I came out and sang Peace Train, was because it was a critical moment and what the song said had to be said. When it comes to issues and causes, I find it much easier to do them than getting on the touring trail, which I was uncomfortable with even before my conversion.

Q: A lot has changed since you were maligned post 9/11, and came out and sang Peace Train. Do you think you have accomplished all you set out to when you came out and made that statement, or is there work left to do?

There is a whole lot to do. Recent events, going back to 9/11, are being used as a general ruler with which to measure Islam by, which is simply offensive and unjust. We cannot stop these injustices without doing something. Communications is the field in which Muslims should be involved.

So that, ladies and germs, was the very real, honest, weary and shell-shocked Yousuf Islam. :)