(hey all. So, some of you know it’s not actually all self-inflicted injury and laughs in my life. There’s a whole lot of drama that takes place, very little of which ever makes it to my blog. But I’ve decided to try and answer some of the issues I’m grappling with in writing, and what better place to put my responses than my bloggie? So please pardon the verbose seriousness that follows. I know it’s not Owl-like, but you’ll manage, yes?)

It's strange the things people react strongly against, particularly Muslims. When they learn that I am a journalist – a profession known for its instability and danger – only some worry. That I am a 26-year-old unmarried female globetrotter goes down a little harder - with a few raised eyebrows and mental pity for my parents. But when most Muslims hear that I am ‘athletic,’ that sounds the alarm without fail.

Let me explain my athleticism. I am no professional. I am nothing exceptional. I will never win a trophy for what I do and to the passerby, resemble nothing more than your average young woman. I am simply a person who makes regular time for sports and fitness. I love being active and pushing my own physical limits.

That tends to translate into team sports, personal fitness endeavors, and a puppy-like love of chasing after a ball. When they’re handy, I find my way into softball and basketball leagues. I’m always the one with the badminton rackets at picnics and am a regular at the local batting cages. I have a love of the casual game of football so strong I once biked 5 miles in a snow storm to play.

And when I can’t find willing others to put together a game, I’ll content myself with solitary fitness pursuits. I am probably the only person you know who got their money’s worth out of an expensive piece of workout equipment. I used my elliptical trainer nearly every day for all the years I had it in female-sports-unfriendly Pakistan. I’m always trying to up my game on push-ups, curls and crunches. And first aspiring only to be able to run a 10 K, I have since finished a half marathon and can predict I’ll be training for a full one sometime soon.

It’s not just sports and fitness. I like simply DOING things. This year I surfed, skied, and kayaked for the first time. I also used a bike as my primary mode of transport for a whole year just to see if I could. I love learning new things and overcoming challenges.

But most of this I have to keep as secret as a criminal habit. Because to most adults in our community, Muslim girls are not supposed to be like this. And when it gets out that I am, I get treated to a range of reactions that vary from concerned lecturing to interventions to even fatwahs.

The most puerile concern I hear is “Ooh, that isn’t very feminine! How do you expect to get married if you’re manlier than most men.” First off, I’m not manly. “But all those things you do, don’t they make you overly muscular?” Er, no. I’m not pumping steroids and maxing out on the weights. I’m playing sports, exercising my heart and keeping tone. I am neither big nor butch. Being athletic does not mean necessitate being masculine. I’m still very much woman and look and behave as one.

The next question, which I tend to hear is: “But I don’t think men like girls being, you know, athletic.” Some wouldn’t. Some would. But frankly I don’t think it’s healthy for anyone to life their lives trying to please a faceless unknown. God willing, I will one day marry, but I count it as no loss if a man passes on me because he’s threatened by my fitness. He isn’t much of a catch then either. Simply there is no action any of us can undertake that will please everyone. It is best then to try and please our Lord first, and those we love and ourselves after.

But the rub comes when people tell me my athleticism would be unpleasing to God as well. “It’s very unIslamic to do what you do,” I am often told. And this upsets me.

First comes the lecture where the earlier concerns are repeated in pseudo-religious terms. “Men are not to imitate women and women are not to imitate men. Those who do are cursed.” By paraphrasing a well known hadith the arguer is trying to make the case that athleticism is purely a male quality and any woman pursuing it is defying God’s social order. I doubt sports have ever been a purely male domain historically, and in the present the sport culture is shared out fairly equally between the sexes. Context and relativity play a significant role in determining the social propriety of action, even in Islam, and in the era and culture I live in, there is no risk that pursuing fitness will alienate me from my gender. And though some may say women making any sort of entry onto the field to be a failure of faith, in the time of the Prophet (peace be upon him) women were known to even take to the battlefield, so I doubt a little thing like swinging a bat is that big a deal.

Then there are those who say things like my half marathon endeavor were straight up haram. “Hadith says that on the Day of Judgment we will be questioned for even stepping heavily on the earth. What is running but stomping around?” Firstly, I think the hadith had more to do with arrogance and useless action than the physical weight of a step. Based on the latter logic, Muslims would never ever do more than walk gently and slowly everywhere they went. I don’t recall ever reading a hadith where Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) forbade us from running, jumping, or moving quickly. In fact, I remember that he used to like to race his wife Aisha. That, I believe, involved running, and was for no purpose beyond their own enjoyment.

But many sports go beyond pure enjoyment, I am then told. They extend into willful self harm. After all, Allah does say, "...make not your own hands contribute to your destruction..." (Surah al-Baqarah 2:195). Yes, I have had some sports injuries. But then I have had injuries doing the most innocuous things as well. I’m just hazard prone. But what I also get out of fitness is improved cardiovascular health, ease of mobility, and strength – all useful and good things to have. Even running is not half as bad as people think it to be. Researchers at the Stanford University Medical Center have recently found that regular running, even into old age, comes with significant improvements in lifespan without remarkable joint damage. So within moderation, this, as most things, is very beneficial and hardly harmful.

And beyond physical benefits, there is a huge psychological and spiritual boon from fitness as well. I feel so much more alive and capable after running or playing. Exercising early in the morning charges me up for a day of productivity and positivity. And realizing how healthy I am, and what that allows me to do, leaves very grateful to God and humbled by His kindness and mercy. Activity really is therapy of the mind, body and soul for me.

So why is this such a taboo in the minds of so many Muslims? Well, partly I think it’s a culture clash. I notice many questioners come from ethnicities or generations where women do/did little physical activity beyond child rearing and housework, which are worthy pursuits but currently not part of my life. The idea of women wanting or enjoying sport and fitness is as foreign to them as the idea of women wanting to stay in the home all the time is to my peers. It is simply an unknown to them and they are expressing their curiosity, which is fine. Most retain an open mind and have a willingness to understand, which we all need to have.

But the rest of the complainants are men of a certain bent - men who not only disapprove of my athleticism, but also my profession, my education, and my mind. And as they cannot easily forbid me from any of those – as Islam urges education equally and allows women to earn and own – they focus on my hobby. It strikes me as a control issue, and that saddens me. I am a much more fruitful contributor to my Ummah if I am capable, strong and empowered. To be a mindless subservient would make me drain instead of a boon, and though it would probably be easier to ‘control’ me that way, it would be at a cost of the energies of my ‘controller’ and of the actualization of my own potential.

And to what ends? So that I can fit a preconceived notion of how a Muslim woman should be? To please my community? I’m sorry, but I am more worried about pleasing my Lord.