Seven months into biking across Beantown, my helmet finally earned its keep. If there are any kids around, or those of weak constitutions, they should probably leave the room. Whew. Ok. You ready for this?

*drum roll*
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I walked into a wall.

*drums come to a crashing halt*

Er, rather, a door eave. Which would have hurt rather a lot, had I NOT been wearing my bike helmet.

So yes, thank you to all those people who FORCED me to wear that annoying, clunky and terribly uncool thing. You were right. I DO need protective gear. But biking has NOTHING to do with it.

So I'm a science journalist. Which should mean nothing but the fact that I'm a journalist that covers science related news. What it should NOT necessarily mean is that I'm an atheist. Or that I think religion to be one of the most offensive inventions of primitive man, right up there with the skull-cracking club. Or that I enjoy nothing more than sitting around and snickering at the poor sods who are still beleaguered by the crutch that is theology.

So why then, pray tell, was this the running theme of the Big Science Journo Program Anniversary Shin ding? Why did our gala dinner culminate with a famous comedienne sharing her personal journey from Trinity worshipper to There Is No God-lic? Or did I accidentally walk in on an Atheists Anonymous meeting? Or maybe they'd made it a joint dinner with Recovering Theists of America. Or perhaps some youth-restoring miracle of science performed during our lecture sessions that reverted the assembly back to pre-pubescent goon-hood, hence the snickering behind hands and the metaphorical pointing and laughing at a different 'other.'

Whatever the case, I walked out. Me, in my bright pink and orange shalwar kameez, seated in the front row. Right in the middle of the talk, right after the lady ridiculed Mormons, Scientologists, Catholics, and was getting warmed up with shredding the Old Testament. Not because I'm Mormon, Scientologist, Catholic, or a fan of the book. No. Just because I thought it was wrong. And uncalled for. And childish. And low. And frankly, I have better things to do than sit around and trash people who aren't there to defend their views.

But come today, I had a lot of splaining to do. Of course, everyone would assume that little close-minded me cannot bear to hear views that in any way do not support my own. Psh. Or that my semi-Mormon upbringing was offended. Boo. And my personal favorite, because I felt pressure to abandon my obvious religious bent and join the Godless Party. *pbttt*

Nope. I was just raised well. And I've never been one to sit quietly while my friends or anyone really, is being misrepresented without any opportunity to defend or explain themselves. It's just not cricket. The jokes were cheap shots, and not necessary to make the woman's point. You needn't tear down others to validate yourself, and if you have to, then perhaps your views don't bear scrutiny.

But that didn't go down that well. Some apologized and said they worried that I was uncomfortable, and were happy to see I felt confident enough to leave. Others said the speaker came round and sort of smoothed over what I had heard to be ridicule, and I should have stuck around to hear her final point. And one point blank said, "I get that you did it cuz your mom's Mormon. The rest I don't jive with." Well, thanks but I didn't need your approval anyways.

Graah. What a world. Every day is like walking into the headwind, and I'm growing tired of holding myself upright.

And now presenting - the Three Minute Update.

Things what not to do -

carry an overripe banana from your third-floor apartment down your windy steps to your ground floor kitchen, when not yet awake. You WILL drop the banana, and you WILL step on said banana on a perilous turn of the windy steps, and you WILL live out your own Tom and Jerry moment.

try to save a student event from utter failure by agreeing to put together a half hour comedy show within three days, when you know only a handful of students. You WILL discover that your phone number and email address are suddenly unanswerable, you WILL end up performing MOST of the show on your own, and you WILL end up making a complete ass of yourself in public.

try to learn how to surf in one hour, while wearing hijab and jungle gear. You WILL end up looking like a drowned rat, you WILL end up with enough bruises to resemble a mottled Smurf, and you WILL not really learn how to ride the waves.

This public service announcement has been bought to you by Spam, America's great white hope.